Tag: Fifty Shades of Grey
Can spiritual women also be sexually satisfied? It's a sad question to have to ask, but the incomplete manner in which the Church has answered sexual questions does mandate that we discuss it. If you're one of my more modest followers, please don't be disappointed but this article isn't for you. However, if you're a spiritual woman trying desperately to make sense of sexual desires and often finding answers outside of the Church, read on! I don't want you to find yourself falling for counterfeits in the quest. A lot of women have. (And you could win a free book that will help if you keep reading.) The sales of the Fifty Shades of Grey series has sold over 100,000,000 and the series has had a seat on the New York Times Best-seller list for 100 weeks straight. Now it will be a blockbuster in the movie theaters with Fandago presales setting records already. Let me be honest: the book has revived the sexual appetites of many women. But is that good? I'd like to suggest that it's not so great and that the best way to a vibrant sex life might just to become an "official church lady!"
One of the most critical on-going conversations mothers can have with their daughters is on the topic of sexuality. My head spins with all the risk and hope that teeters on the existence of such a dialogue. Let me share the best news first: the number one risk-reducer for your daughter is parent/child connection. What you think about sex informs her view of it, and what you communicate about sexual risk and sexual theology helps to steer her towards healthy choices. You're that powerful, Mom. Most girls I've spoken with wish their mom would bring the subject up more often. Most moms I've spoken with feel insecure about talking. Let me fuel your interest by sharing these top ten reasons why every mom must talk about sex early and often. They aren't pretty, but remember talking about sex reduces the risk and puts you in a place to reduce the pain if any does come your daughters direction.
Are you tired of guys wanting to just "hang out?" Do you wish someone would tell them to "man up" and ask you on a real, live date with food and a car and...gosh...maybe you even secretly hope he might open a car door for you? You're not alone. From The New York Times to Huff Post, the word is out: dating is dead. "Hanging out" is in. And single women are underwhelmed. In a culture that constantly celebrates women's independence and the ability to be on an equal playing field on the dating scene, isn't it strange that the most talked about movie of 2015 is a one that celebrates bondage? With Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson recently wrapping Fifty Shades of Grey, all of a sudden, words like "submission," "master", and "obedience" are not only acceptable but sexy. Even, Barbara Walters, one of the most liberal women in the media is talking about the thrill of a strong man.
For so long it’s been unacceptable in the Christian community for a spiritual woman to talk openly about issues of sexual pleasure and need. There are all these unwritten "Christian" rules that govern how openly we talk about sex. Then along came Fifty Shades of Grey—a book offering a bounty of explicit, erotic sex scenes all wrapped up in a love story. The book and its follow-ups provided a place for women to explore their longings and fantasies and promised to revive sexual passion in marriage or channel sexual desire for singles. When the book was first released I naively thought not that many Christian women would read it. I was wrong. Over 100 million women have read it according to new counts just this week, making it the fastest selling book of all time other than the Bible. (Only God has outsold E.L. James!) And there is no difference between the percentage of Christians who have read Fifty Shades of Grey and the percentage of all Americans who have read the book that introduced us to the term "mommy porn." If you are one of the Christian women who devoured the book, Dr. Juli Slattery and I want you to know you’re not alone. And, along with a growing number of increasingly transparent Christian leaders, we intend to approach this topic quite differently. Why? Because Jesus did.
I'm not reading Fifty Shades of Grey. I wasn't planning to announce this, but I can't help myself. I told my husband, Bob, that I didn't really want to get involved. But then, I found out my girlfriend's 70-year-old mom has her name on a long wait list at the library to borrow Fifty Shades of Grey. And then my mom told me that a relative I love and respect for her strong faith had already devoured the book. She regretfully "can't get the images out of her head." So, here I am. In an attempt to keep the images out of yours, I'd like to explain to you why I'm not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
I've devoted the last fifteen years of my life to studying sexuality and I know what the research says. More porn and erotica—the twisted sisters of visual and written sensuality for the express purpose of arousal— equals less real sex. That doesn't sound exciting to me. It sounds very "vanilla." (Aptly, that is the word used by many readers of Fifty Shades of Grey to describe leader character Christian!) But because some of you don't believe me—and some of you really do and what to share the information—here are a few sources for you to begin your own study of the impact of porn and erotica on the sex lives of humankind. Keep in mind that more has been done to study porn than erotica, but I believe they are similar and function the same in terms of brain chemicals and consequences. Beware. These sources can be a little bit steamy, so don't click for more unless you're mature enough to handle it.
Posted by Bob and Dannah Gresh Last week I (Dannah) wrote a blog entitled I'm Not Reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. The applause and outcry were mingled with questions. And tough questions they are! I would really not prefer to be the one to answer them, but someone has to. Especially when those asking are teenagers who are forming their value system concerning their sexual future. The question that's rising to the surface of the Fifty Shades debate is this: "Is BDSM really all that bad? Can't it be experienced in a marriage if both partners are in agreement?" As a married couple, we'd like to try to answer this question. In several of the comments to the original blog on the book, Christian women defended BDSM. We're grateful for their transparency and the gentle way in which at least one of the women presented her opinion. We took time to receive much counsel before presenting these thoughts.