Take control of your own healing.
Start fighting for him instead of with him.
I’d like to be a part of your redemption story. I don’t have all the answers to your questions. I’m not a trained counselor or expert. I’m just a woman who’s been where you are and wants to walk with you a while in your journey because I desperately needed a friend like that when I was where you are. It’s so helpful to learn from someone who’s been there.
Only God’s Spirit can bring your man to repentance, but you can influence your husband to seek the Lord and get the help he needs. Through prayer and counsel, God will lead you to strengthen yourself and make decisions that are best for your marriage. This may include establishing boundaries with kindness and love, maturely communicating your pain, forgiving him, and many other things. The Bible says he can be “won . . . by the conduct” of his wife (1 Peter 3:1). You possess that power through Jesus Christ!
Of course, a key component of restoration is humble, authentic repentance and brokenness in your husband. I’m so thankful Bob gave that gift to me. Our marriage was difficult at times, but he never behaved in a destructive manner. We worked together to help him overcome his stronghold. His voice on the Happily Even After podcast may be helpful to your husband!
If your husband has been unrepentant, keep scrolling. I have a tool to recommend to you!
I’d like to be a part of your redemption story. I don’t have all the answers to your questions. I’m not a trained counselor or expert. I’m just a woman who’s been where you are and wants to walk with you a while in your journey because I desperately needed a friend like that when I was where you are. It’s so helpful to learn from someone who’s been there.
Only God’s Spirit can bring your man to repentance, but you can influence your husband to seek the Lord and get the help he needs. Through prayer and counsel, God will lead you to strengthen yourself and make decisions that are best for your marriage. This may include establishing boundaries with kindness and love, maturely communicating your pain, forgiving him, and many other things. The Bible says he can be “won . . . by the conduct” of his wife (1 Peter 3:1). You possess that power through Jesus Christ!
Of course, a key component of restoration is humble, authentic repentance and brokenness in your husband. I’m so thankful Bob gave that gift to me. Our marriage was difficult at times, but he never behaved in a destructive manner. We worked together to help him overcome his stronghold. His voice on the Happily Even After podcast may be helpful to your husband!
If your husband has been unrepentant, keep scrolling. I have a tool to recommend to you!
Whether your marriage is suffering from pornography, addiction, an affair, or just years of unhappiness, Jesus Christ can help you redeem the broken places of your marriage. I wrote Happily Even After to be a friend who walks beside you. I long to help you:
Whether your marriage is suffering from pornography, addiction, an affair, or just years of unhappiness, Jesus Christ can help you redeem the broken places of your marriage. I wrote Happily Even After to be a friend who walks beside you. I long to help you:
Don’t let anyone tell you that pornography isn’t harmful. Prolonged exposure to this twisted version of God’s good gift does tremendous damage. That’s why you need to stop fighting with him and start fighting for him
Yes, Because what your husband has done has most likely caused symptoms of betrayal trauma in you. Understanding that is a critical starting point. In fact, I write about this in chapter 3 of Happily Even After.
This book is for women in marriages facing nearly any kind of difficulty, but especially those whose husband’s have sinned sexually including pornography and lust. I’ve written for the woman who believes she is safe and hopes to rebuild trust and intimacy in her marriage after her husband has sinned and is demonstrating repentance.
You are not safe in your relationship if you are experiencing sexual, physical, or verbal abuse or repeated trauma from flagrant sin for which your husband is not repentant. If that's you, stop scrolling this website and call someone who can help you get into a safe place.
As I said above, my husband hated his sin. But I’ve been hearing and learning from women who’ve experienced a different kind of trauma in their marriages. Sometimes a husband isn’t repentant. He’s in a pattern of destruction that may include gaslighting, denial, blaming, or other mental games that can be considered abusive. How can you know the difference between a marriage that’s difficult or destructive? This podcast reveals five red flags of a destructive relationship. And ideas about what to do if you find your marriage is not safe.
Difficult vs. Destructive Relationships on Therapy & Theology
with Lysa Terkeurst & Leslie Vernick
Hey, I should probably introduce you to my husband, Bob! He’s the hero of my heart. No one fought harder than he did for our marriage. The grip of addiction was strong, but Jesus was stronger! (And it’s time to tell you why I love that photo at the top of the page soooo much!) I searched high and low for just the right photo for that spot. It couldn’t be too happy. (Because that can feel like salt in a wound.) But it couldn’t be too hopeless. (You don’t need more of that right now, do you?) When I found this, I knew it was the one!
To help you in this work, my husband, Bob, and I have developed a handful of helpful resources—sort of a Happily Even After toolbox. I hope you will check out the following and use them if they are a good fit for you:
Hey, I should probably introduce you to my husband, Bob! He’s the hero of my heart. No one fought harder than he did for our marriage. The grip of addiction was strong, but Jesus was stronger! (And it’s time to tell you why I love that photo at the top of the page soooo much!) I searched high and low for just the right photo for that spot. It couldn’t be too happy. (Because that can feel like salt in a wound.) But it couldn’t be too hopeless. (You don’t need more of that right now, do you?) When I found this, I knew it was the one!
To help you in this work, my husband, Bob, and I have developed a handful of helpful resources—sort of a Happily Even After toolbox. I hope you will check out the following and use them if they are a good fit for you: