Yes, You Can Be

Happy Even After Betrayal Lust Porn

Take control of your own healing.

Start fighting for him instead of with him.

No one rides off into the sunset for a happily ever after. But some of us face especially painful hardships when our husbands fall prey to lust and pornography.

I know. I’ve been there. It can be daunting to know who you can trust to guide you. But you can experience “happily even after.” I’m living in it. {OK, my husband is leaning over my shoulder pleading, “Don’t sell them a bill of goods. Don’t let them think that this is easy.”} This is not going to be easy. In fact, my husband and I found the therapy and recovery tools the world offers to be terribly confusing at times. They are, at best, incomplete.

Let me suggest a braver, deeper, more sacred route:

Your marriage does not need recovery. It needs redemption.

Your marriage does not need recovery.

It needs redemption.

Get the Book

Listen to the Podcast

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Hi, I'm Dannah

I’d like to be a part of your redemption story. I don’t have all the answers to your questions. I’m not a trained counselor or expert. I’m just a woman who’s been where you are and wants to walk with you a while in your journey because I desperately needed a friend like that when I was where you are. It’s so helpful to learn from someone who’s been there.

Only God’s Spirit can bring your man to repentance, but you can influence your husband to seek the Lord and get the help he needs. Through prayer and counsel, God will lead you to strengthen yourself and make decisions that are best for your marriage. This may include establishing boundaries with kindness and love, maturely communicating your pain, forgiving him, and many other things. The Bible says he can be “won . . . by the conduct” of his wife (1 Peter 3:1). You possess that power through Jesus Christ!

Of course, a key component of restoration is humble, authentic repentance and brokenness in your husband. I’m so thankful Bob gave that gift to me. Our marriage was difficult at times, but he never behaved in a destructive manner. We worked together to help him overcome his stronghold. His voice on the Happily Even After podcast may be helpful to your husband!

If your husband has been unrepentant, keep scrolling. I have a tool to recommend to you!

Hi, I'm Dannah

If your husband has been unrepentant, keep scrolling. I have a tool to recommend to you!

Endorsed With Love

Dannah Gresh does not . . . offer an ‘easy fix’, but she does offer hope. She writes, not from an ivory tower, but as one who has experienced the pain and found redemption.

A wiser and more trusted voice for reassuring faith and hope in your relationship with your husband would be hard to find.

…you feel lost and hopeless. Friend, you are neither. The God of the universe is with you, inviting you to open your heart to His healing and wisdom. This book will … show you a path to spiritual maturity …

Raw. Honest. Wise.

This is not your average marriage book.

This book has the real possibility of becoming a timeless tool that will save marriages for decades to come.

A must read that points to the grace, hope and redemption we can only find in Christ.

About the Book

Whether your marriage is suffering from pornography, addiction, an affair, or just years of unhappiness, Jesus Christ can help you redeem the broken places of your marriage. I wrote Happily Even After to be a friend who walks beside you. I long to help you:

Stop pretending everything is okay
Strengthen yourself in the Lord
Fight for your husband instead of with him
Discover 7 beliefs a marriage needs for redemption
Participate in your husband's redemption story

Let me show you how to experience healing, live with joy, and hold your head high so you can participate in God’s redemption story for your husband. You may feel like your story is over, but no one writes better—or happier—endings than Jesus.

About the Book

Stop pretending everything is okay
Strengthen yourself in the Lord
Fight for your husband instead of with him
Discover 7 beliefs a marriage needs for redemption
Participate in your husband's redemption story

67-70% of men in the Church could be classified as sex addicts

70% of wives of sex addicts experience symptoms of PTSD*

Nearly half of trauma survivors experience post-traumatic growth

Source: The Porn Epidemic: Problem, Consequence, and Hope

Source: The Prevalence of Moderate-to-High Posttraumatic Growth

You Deserve Help

Many women are becoming complacent about their husband’s struggle. Do not let that be you. Not all men are living in enslavement to a lustful mindset. And the fact that many are enslaved is no reason to simply accept it in your marriage. You must do something and you can!

Don’t let anyone tell you that pornography isn’t harmful. Prolonged exposure to this twisted version of God’s good gift does tremendous damage. That’s why you need to stop fighting with him and start fighting for him

What began as a sin problem, is now a brain problem.

Your husband can’t think straight! This kind of sin disables his mind, dismantles intimacy in a marriage, erodes sanity, destroys trust, and often leads to unfaithfulness. Where should you begin?

You need to take care of your own heart and mind first!

Yes, Because what your husband has done has most likely caused symptoms of betrayal trauma in you. Understanding that is a critical starting point. In fact, I write about this in chapter 3 of Happily Even After.

Ya know what? Let me send you that chapter right now! It’s titled “This is His Brain (and yours, sadly) on Sin.” It contains useful research to help you understand why you need and deserve help right now.

Learn 3 Reasons You Deserve Help!

Is Happily Even After for you?

This book is for women in marriages facing nearly any kind of difficulty, but especially those whose husband’s have sinned sexually including pornography and lust. I’ve written for the woman who believes she is safe and hopes to rebuild trust and intimacy in her marriage after her husband has sinned and is demonstrating repentance.

You are not safe in your relationship if you are experiencing sexual, physical, or verbal abuse or repeated trauma from flagrant sin for which your husband is not repentant. If that's you, stop scrolling this website and call someone who can help you get into a safe place.

As I said above, my husband hated his sin. But I’ve been hearing and learning from women who’ve experienced a different kind of trauma in their marriages. Sometimes a husband isn’t repentant. He’s in a pattern of destruction that may include gaslighting, denial, blaming, or other mental games that can be considered abusive. How can you know the difference between a marriage that’s difficult or destructive? This podcast reveals five red flags of a destructive relationship. And ideas about what to do if you find your marriage is not safe.

Difficult vs. Destructive Relationships on Therapy & Theology

with Lysa Terkeurst & Leslie Vernick

Meet my Man - Bob

Hey, I should probably introduce you to my husband, Bob! He’s the hero of my heart. No one fought harder than he did for our marriage. The grip of addiction was strong, but Jesus was stronger! (And it’s time to tell you why I love that photo at the top of the page soooo much!) I searched high and low for just the right photo for that spot. It couldn’t be too happy. (Because that can feel like salt in a wound.) But it couldn’t be too hopeless. (You don’t need more of that right now, do you?) When I found this, I knew it was the one!

Our Podcast and Workshops

To help you in this work, my husband, Bob, and I have developed a handful of helpful resources—sort of a Happily Even After toolbox. I hope you will check out the following and use them if they are a good fit for you:

The Happily Even After podcast series with Bob and Dannah Gresh
In-person coaching with our team at Pure Freedom Master Class