Tag: And The Bride Wore White
Recently I opened my blog to moderate comments on a post titled "Was Mary A Virgin?" Suddenly, I was being accused of "slut-shaming" for using the word virgin. What!? It was the VIRGIN Mary who I was writing about! The comments—including "This is slut shaming... Wrapped up in a pretty package" and "Such dialogue and scrutiny over a woman's virginity (aka 'purity') only feeds into patriarchal-based slut shaming"—were just the crest of a wave of frustration I've heard all year long as those following me lament that the language of sexual purity is out of style. The big claim? The word purity has no efficacy. So, let's put it on trial today and see where we land because as a leader in the Christian sexual theology conversation, I want to know: do you think we should stop using the word purity? But here's the deal. The debate—which I expect may get heated— must lean first and foremost on the truth of sexuality as defined in the Bible, not the opinions of men and woman. What's a good day in court without an opening argument? Here's my three defenses of the word purity.
One of the most critical on-going conversations mothers can have with their daughters is on the topic of sexuality. My head spins with all the risk and hope that teeters on the existence of such a dialogue. Let me share the best news first: the number one risk-reducer for your daughter is parent/child connection. What you think about sex informs her view of it, and what you communicate about sexual risk and sexual theology helps to steer her towards healthy choices. You're that powerful, Mom. Most girls I've spoken with wish their mom would bring the subject up more often. Most moms I've spoken with feel insecure about talking. Let me fuel your interest by sharing these top ten reasons why every mom must talk about sex early and often. They aren't pretty, but remember talking about sex reduces the risk and puts you in a place to reduce the pain if any does come your daughters direction.
I said goodbye to my virginity when I was fifteen. How old were you? If you had it to do over again, would you wait? I would. I knew none of the physical consequences of choosing to have sex early, but I was depressed. I felt like I'd given something precious away and could never have it back. That's why I've devoted my life to spreading the idea that sex is worthy of something more than a casual hookup. Is that a message you want to share with your daughter? Little sister? A friend you're trying to mentor? Read on, because the news today is better...and worse...than when you were a teenager and I have seven secrets that will reduce the risk in the teen girl you love.
One of my single, twenty-something team members returned from Christmas break with something of an epiphany having occurred. "I've made purity an idol in my life," she confessed. Memories of multiple blogs inserting this thought into the online Christian conversation ran through my head. Blogger Elizabeth Esther seemed to have started this snowballing conversation rolling. Rachel Held Evans, Boundless, and a number of others soon posed the question on their own blogs to perpetuate the debate. Before we knew it, we were reading grandiose claims such as "Virginity: Christianity's Main Idol." Of all the myths birthed and nurtured in the critique on the purity movement, this one brought the strongest response in my spirit. It is both the most truth-founded and most deceptive of the myths. A tricky one to be certain. While I believe it's possible that purity may be an idol in your life, it is a myth that purity is an idol. Before I reveal the logical fallacy in this trendy conversation, let me give you a few test questions to see if purity has become an idol in your life.
Since HPV is the only known cause of cervical cancer, pharmaceutical giants have done something to address it. This is no small thing. Cervical cancer is the second most common cancer in women. In recent years, a vaccination which protects a sexually active young woman against 4 of about 100 strains of HPV is not