Tag: Cedarville University
Girls, we can’t wear anything we want. God’s words says that if we love him, we will obey him and he wants us to wear certain things and not others. And HE...not the guy...is the ultimate reason we live modestly. I realize that all too many books on modesty & purity risk suggesting that if you’re just a good Christian girl who wears her chastity belt and a silver ring on her left index finger, your prince charming will come. Without even realizing it, you might make a deal with God: I’ll give my heart to You, and You send a husband my was. But RESPECT FOR GOD, not a guy is the goal. The point of modesty and purity is not to showcase yourself for a godly guy, but to showcase GOD to the world!
The feminine modesty texts are about sexual allurement and direct a woman to demonstrate self-control and respect in the way she presents herself. But does this mean men are off the hook? And am I saying that if women dress modestly, men will not lust. Girls, it's great if you read this, but today I want to talk to guys. And moms of guys. And girlfriends of guys. And sisters of guys. And any woman that can influence one. If any guys happen to be reading this I should probably start with this: don’t dress like the Abercrombie guy and for the love of all things decent pull your pants up over your boxers! (Imagine deafening eruptions of cheers from the women reading this!) But that's not what I really want or need to communicate today. Because it’s not what God’s word instructs me to say. Here's what I really have to say, guys: your lust is your responsibility. Period.
Respect is at the heart of God's intention for sexual expression. Lean in while I unveil to you one of the best-kept secrets in the Bible: a single word. The Hebrew word for sex. The Old Testament uses the word yada for sex. It means "to know, to be known, to be deeply respected." God's very definition of sex transcends the physical act and emphasizes emotional knowing and an exchange of respect. Respect of others, and even of ourselves, requires self-control. This is one, though not the only reason, that our sexual lives must be characterized by self-control. Morality aside, sex thrives in an atmosphere of control and respect. A study referenced in Sex in America found those having both the hottest and most frequent sex were not college co-eds with a variety of sexual partners but middle-aged people who embraced mutual lifetime monogamy out of respect for themselves and their partners. Another study concluded having more partners in their lifetime actually predicted less sexual satisfaction for men. Sexual self-control makes sense for both moral and practical reasons. You wanna have a great sex life? It’s got to begin with self-control.
Once when I was speaking at a campus event at a Big Ten University, a couple approached me. He was a football player—all but worshipped in a town where the blood runs the same color as the team uniforms. Proud as could be, he stood beside his girlfriend to tell me that they were using his “celebrity” status to encourage purity on the sex-saturated campus. “Whenever we get the chance we share our philosophy?” he beamed…with a little too much pride, I might add. Noticing a look of distinct shame on her face, I felt the need to clarify. “What is your philosophy?” I asked. “We just stick to oral sex,” he said. She burst into tears. Let’s shoot straight. There’s a lot of sex going on out there. And depending on where you go to college, it's going to be harder or easier to live out your sexual convictions whatever they may be. Here are three things every college-bound high school student—and their parents—need to consider.