Tag: Pulling Back the Shades
Can spiritual women also be sexually satisfied? It's a sad question to have to ask, but the incomplete manner in which the Church has answered sexual questions does mandate that we discuss it. If you're one of my more modest followers, please don't be disappointed but this article isn't for you. However, if you're a spiritual woman trying desperately to make sense of sexual desires and often finding answers outside of the Church, read on! I don't want you to find yourself falling for counterfeits in the quest. A lot of women have.
"The truth is that God designed sex to be enjoyed within the context of a marriage bed. It’s as simple and as terribly frustrating as that. While it would be nice if there were a caveat for those who never get married, that would deny the sanctity of the act of sex altogether wouldn’t it? The marriage bed should be honored by “all,” not just those who have one. (Hebrews 13:4) This is difficult but true." (From "How Can I Satisfy My Sexual Desire As A Single Woman?")
Recent studies suggest that women are scientifically attracted to bad boys. Some think this tendency is heightened during ovulation when a woman may subconsciously be more likely to consider how protective a potential mate could be of offspring. I think we are, in fact, attracted to the bad boy. But I think the reason is much simpler than science will ever uncover. I'd like to reveal it to you today so you can figure out what to do with your bad boy appetite before you end up with one that might hurt you.
Are you tired of guys wanting to just "hang out?" Do you wish someone would tell them to "man up" and ask you on a real, live date with food and a car and...gosh...maybe you even secretly hope he might open a car door for you?
You're not alone.
I spoke at Grove City College chapel and had the delight of doing an additional follow-up workshop the same evening for women on beauty (which was not recorded). Only problem? The guys showed up along with the girls. Were they here for an easy extra chapel credit or could it be that they really wanted to understand the complex interweaving highway that is the female brain? I hoped for the later, decided to play it cool, and threw my notes away. Inviting the guys into the conversation turned out to be something of a medicine for the soul to the girls, as I watched the men impart to their Christian sisters something I could not. It went something like this.
On a few occasions I have survived the world's most boring church services. As I sit there with the bad music, long and poorly presented sermon, and the dead interactions of people I can not help but think how opposite this must be from the thrill and adventure of the early church founders who were risking their lives and hiding in homes to tell tales of miracles and resurrections. How their pulses must have raced with passion as their bodies were laced with adrenaline at the task of growing the Church.
This may be the hardest blog post I’ve ever written. Single women have been writing to me with one question: “How can I satisfy my sexual desire if I’m destined to remain single my whole life?” In part, this question is coming from women who've recently read Pulling Back The Shades, a candid look at erotica, intimacy, and the longings of a woman's heart, which I co-authored with Dr Juli Slattery. But the truth is the question has been coming my way for a long time and I've managed to dodge it. My motivation to answer is impaled on the horns of a dilemma: do I, a married woman, pass you on to some one else with more "experience" for the answer OR do I tell you the truth which is undoubtedly not what you really want to hear in which case you may happily use my married status to disqualify the advice? Today I'm mustering up the courage to go for the latter. Here goes.
For so long it’s been unacceptable in the Christian community for a spiritual woman to talk openly about issues of sexual pleasure and need. There are all these unwritten "Christian" rules that govern how openly we talk about sex. Then along came Fifty Shades of Grey.