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We both felt the nudge of God's spirit to slow down and get honest. But we didn't. We kept making a lie our refuge. Eventually, Bob got to the point where he had to tell me the whole truth. 

He did. Sitting in our red leather chairs in our living room, he broke my heart.

Now maybe hearing the whole truth from your husband terrifies you. It did me. Satan likes to lie to us, telling us that the truth will be too devastating. But the truth, although not always pain-free, is never destructive, it ALWAYS sets us free. Jesus said, "If you abide in my word, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31 - 32)

We had to get up from the red chairs and work out that freedom. Here is something that is really important. We did not work alone. You need a community of people who love you and can support you through this, but they need to be two things. First and foremost they need to be rooted in Biblical truth, and they need to have clinical knowledge and understanding of how addiction works.

Thankfully, we did find resources that helped lead us to freedom. From that journey, we have created some additional resources we want to share with you. We pray it helps with your journey. 

3 Resources to Begin Finding Freedom:

  1. I invite you to listen to our podcast titled Happily Even After: A Redemption Story Podcast.
  2. Need some biblical, clinically informed advice for how to navigate your husband’s battle with lust and pornography? Get a copy of Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage by Dannah Gresh. (That's me!) Read a FREE sample chapter, “This Is His Brain (and Sadly Yours) on Sin.” It contains useful research to help you understand why you need and deserve help when your heart is wounded by your husband’s sexual sin.
  3. Do you need help getting started? Join me, Bob, and our Christian counselor Pete Kuiper for a weekend in the Dominican Republic.


Every few years, we host the Pure Freedom Master Class for couples, individuals, counselors, and pastors who want to increase their capacity to experience God’s continued healing in their lives and their ability to provide biblical-rooted care when God calls them to minister.

This year, we decided to do something different. Our goal is to hang out with couples we can love on while we share some of the best teaching we’ve ever heard on healing and wholeness. So, we’re heading to the Caribbean for a once-in-a-lifetime experience with Pete Kuiper, our marriage counselor!

You’ll get phenomenal biblical teaching, organic networking with other couples and professionals, and understanding on sexual theology and healing. The only difference is: you’ll be able to hit the beach, spa, or golf course in between sessions!

Because this is part of our Pure Freedom Master Class series, you need to apply to attend. Why? We want to be sure that it’s a good fit for you and that you’re committed to the kind of community experience that awaits!